Tactics Show You Can Turn This Around: Dealing With Perceived Failure or Disappointment

From time to time many of us feel as though we have failed at something. Some of us may feel disappointed at the outcome of a situation that may not have ended to our liking. The question is: how do you handle the feelings of failure or disappointment?

The word failure comes from the 1100's, Middle English, meaning to disappoint, to deceive.

In reality nothing ever really fails, it is only our reaction to a standard we have set, a measure that a situation or a somebody should, in our estimation, have a particular outcome. Although we may experience something as having failed, truthfully WE can never be a failure. Thinking we're a failure is taking a moment and creating a belief about ourselves and attaching the failure to an idea of who we are, our life or existence. And it simply is not true. If actually there has been a breakdown in your life and a failed situation, the way to handle it is to learn from the experience, fix it or make an amends and then go on with your life knowing that you now know better and will do better. When you beat yourself up you stay stuck. When you know better you do better.

Movement is energy and energy needs to move so forgive yourself and others, right what has happened, learn your lesson with love and grace and take the next right step in your life.

If you're feeling failed or disappointed, feel into it and ask yourself - is this perception of myself mine or does this belong to someone else? If it is someone else's idea of you then return it to sender with love attached. If it belongs to you then where does that belief comes from? And honestly is it serving you or swerving your life off-course? What did you do that you can choose to not do again? Prove to yourself that you do better, accept yourself and allow yourself to move forward with your life in a direction that matters to you.

Dance with life; allow the journey with its ebbs and flows, its successes and failures. How we perceive all of these events is in our minds. We choose the thoughts we think. Accept Choose Take Action

Trust life and the most extraordinary things will happen. Trust yourself and build a rapport with yourself to know to do and be the best you you can be. As you develop an intimate relationship with yourself you will learn you can depend on yourself, and after all it is YOU you'll be traveling this entire life with, not to mention the next life and the next! Be in your day the way you want to live your life. Focus your thoughts in a positive direction. Draw to yourself exactly what you need.

Just as important is to remember to let life take over to fix things. We are not alone. We are much beloved by unseen friends. We must do what we can and then let go to allow the healing to begin.

Here's one example from my personal life, and how I could have perceived and received this as disappointment or as just another event. I have had a producer interested in me for years. This producer is attached to a very well known actor who funds big projects. I've had coffee with the producer and his partner several times. Each time we got together, the producer talks about how he loves my show and what I'm doing. He sees me working with him and shifting what I'm doing into bigger venues doing bigger things. In our meetings there were promises made and interest expressed and then after our meeting - nothing. Disappointing? Yes. My secret is I do not wait and wonder if something will come through, because time marches on and so must I. Therefore I kept and continue to put myself out there in big ways which continues to reap results. The producer pursued working with me through discussions and then stopped the planning and for 2 years now I have NOT heard from him. Yesterday, out of the blue, I heard this producer's name mentioned regarding a project by a colleague, and suddenly one hour later, I received a call from the producer - after two years! In the call he shared that he and his partner want to get together with me for coffee to talk (again). They have new plans; they're in a new place, and with new ideas. I will show up for the opportunity. I will remain open and hear what is new in their space and what their renewed interest is in working with me, and I'll see how it feels. I will not put stock into what may or may not happen. If working with them works out: terrific. If it doesn't: terrific. I believe if this connection does not come to fruition in my life then it isn't meant to be and there's something much better, much juicier in store for me instead.

Disappointment is what happens when I have an expectation. I go into this and most things with no expectation. With all the things I wheel and deal and all the calls and interest I get from so many different factions it is like pasta. Every so often something sticks. I do my best work and be my best self and show up. What is meant to be in my life will be. This creates a feeling of success and of looking up and forward at all times.

"Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives." -- Newell D. Hillis

Debbi Dachinger's "Dare to Dream" radio show is a syndicated, multi-award winning program. It's been featured in online news sources around the world. Author of the three-time bestselling book "Dare to Dream: This Life Counts," Debbi is often heard as an interview guest on other radio and TV shows; in addition, Debbi is an inspirational keynote speaker and a spokeswoman on panels. "Dare to Dream" radio enlightens and entertains listeners in an exciting paradigm that intertwines metaphysics with a talk show format. It's a show that's needed as people are moving towards new ways of living and doing business and desiring tools to make their passions, goals and dreams come true.

"Dare to Dream" is very popular with a large listener following (2.7 million listeners per episode). Hear "Dare to Dream" radio live worldwide or on by podcast: http://www.deborahdachinger.com/ (and iTunes).

Debbi is passionate in sharing with the world the thriving guests she interviews, who have succeeded in achieving noteworthy goals; the result is inspirational on-air conversation. Debbi is a top-notch interviewer and has always been in talent/entertainment. She was a U.S.C. Performing arts graduate who acted and sang throughout Europe and the United States. She has received acting nominations and awards, has been a successful motivational speaker, worked as a professional voice over artist, has a YouTube channel: http://www.YouTube.com/debontheradio, writes a blog, is a member of AFTRA and SAG unions, the Evolutionary Business Council, and American Women in Media. Debbi is considered the expert in Goal Achievement, and also How To Be a Great Radio Host and How to Be The Best Radio Interview Guest.

Original article

Become an Inverse Paranoid to Turn Around Your Fortunes for the Better

Become An Inverse Paranoid

In the last issue we introduced the sad story of two friends who were rookie rugby spectators at a stadium. When the players gathered for a scrum and started whispering and encouraging one another, the two friends had different reactions about what they assumed was being said by the players. The first suspected that the players were conspiring to beat them up, and he was dead sure that he had heard something to that effect. The second was totally convinced that the players were indeed talking about them but for a good reason. Since it was their first time at the stadium and they were the only rookie spectators, he was convinced that there was a plan to reward them as a way of encouraging them. The first was also convinced that for the very same reason; that they were new at the stadium; the players did not want them there and were therefore planning to eject them out of the stadium violently. Of course, both of them were wrong, because what the players were engaged in was nothing but a routine rugby ritual of restarting the match after an accidental foul or after the ball has gone out of play.

The two friends represent two contrasting attitudes towards life, which ultimately lead to diametrically opposite outcomes. The first man is the most common. He is what is called a paranoid. The paranoid believes that everyone and everything is conspiring against him to cause evil to visit him. His suspicions enslave him and literally dictate his conduct. Mentally, physically, emotionally and in almost every way the paranoid lives a damned life.

The second man is representative of an inverse paranoid. By definition an inverse paranoid believes that everything and everyone is planning to do him good. Quite unlike the paranoid, the inverse paranoid lives a charmed life and indeed good things tend to follow them.

In this issue we take a closer look at the inverse paranoid.

The Inverse Paranoid Believes In Miracles

The first characteristic that distinguishes the inverse paranoid is that he believes in miracles. He believes and is fully persuaded on the inside that something good will come out of every situation. He does not bother himself by trying to figure out exactly how the miracle will come by, he simply believes that somehow events, people and the universe will converge and act in a manner that will advance his interests and his well being. His approach is summarized by one simple statement, "All things work together for me."

He believes that people are on his side and not against him. He believes that events are God sent not manufactured by the devil. By doing so he primes himself to receive the best out of everyone and out of every situation.

The Inverse Paranoid Has A vivid Expectation of Good

The inverse paranoid not only believes, but actually actively expects good things to happen to him. He is constantly in a state of what Charles Dickens would call Great Expectations. Our expectations have a huge impact not only on our health but also on our state of motivation. Compare and contrast the emotions, attitudes and actions of two ladies; one on death row expecting to be executed any time and one on the morning of her wedding day. Both of them are not likely to be in a neutral gear. When the bride hears the sound of footsteps from her chamber, she immediately imagines that the groom has arrived to take her to the wedding hall for the solemnization of the vows. On the other hand when the lady on death row hears sounds of footsteps she imagines that the hangman has arrived. If the bride sees a man dressed in a priest's garments she is betrayed into believing that the priest who is to conduct the vows has arrived. However, when the condemned lady sees a priest is betrayed into believing that he has come to read the last rites before she is hanged. They are actively expecting different outcomes for the day. Hence, they are in different emotional and psychological states.

This may seem simplistic but it is very important. Over the long haul our actions are actually shaped by our expectations. Our actions in turn influence the outcomes we get; thus our expectations actually become self fulfilling prophecies. For this reason alone the inverse paranoid tends to live a charmed life while the paranoid tends to always attract the worst possible outcomes.

Attitudes Are More Powerful Than Facts

There are two elements that are ever present in any situation. These are attitudes and facts. The two have mutually reinforcing effects. Our attitudes influence the progression of the facts because facts are not static but continuously changing in response to it taken. On the other hand, attitudes cannot be insulated from the outside facts.

The instinctual tendency is to allow the facts to influence one's attitude. However, the winning approach is to clothe oneself with an attitude that one can actually influence developments in a positive direction. It is a proven scientific fact that people can change the outcomes they get in life by first changing the attitudes of their minds by conscious endeavor. Attitude is a product of conscious choice and decision.

No one is born a paranoid or an inverse paranoid. These are acquired attitudes. They are learned behaviors which can also be unlearned. The first step to becoming an inverse paranoid is to make a conscious decision to work towards becoming one. One can never become an inverse paranoid incidentally, coincidentally or accidentally. Conscious endeavor is the key. The decision to become an inverse paranoid should then be followed by another very important decision; to give the most generous interpretation to events and human behavior. Nothing is bad by itself, but our thinking makes it so. All sound human relations are based on the assumption of the existence of goodwill between interlocutors. Without the assumption of goodwill, paranoia sets in.

The books you read, the company you keep and the imaginations you entertain also have a huge influence over whether you become paranoid or an inverse paranoid.

Original article