Last week, I wrote about the ability to take a punch and many of you related to that article. Some of you talked about how you have been on the receiving end of someone trying to knock you out. Maybe it's a coworker who doesn't know how to be a team player.
Maybe it's a competitor that doesn't want to maintain a professional demeanor. Maybe it's a friend or family member that constantly works to bring you down or prevent you from being and doing your best.
But the question for this week is - are you the one throwing punches?
As a coach, I know that one of the most challenging things we can do is self-evaluate. To look in the mirror. To take inventory and stock of our actions and attitude. To assess whether we are the ones with the problems and issues. Could it be possible that the very thing that we see in others that we complain about are also traits that belong to us?
When I worked in HR, our company did peer reviews. There was an employee who had received negative feedback about her attitude, demeanor, and communication skills from eight employees from various departments. She sat in my office - shocked and appalled. She couldn't believe that people said those things about her. She asked if she could get specific examples of this bad behavior people said she was exhibiting
Instead of offering her examples, I looked her straight in the eye and asked this question:
Are you telling me that you can't think of one reason, one example, one situation, one conversation, one meeting, where you behaved in a way that could be interpreted as rude, not a team player, unwilling to listen and a little obnoxious? Now, maybe that wasn't your intent, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't received in a negative way.
After a few moments, I saw her expression change. She realized that there was some truth to what was said about her.
Could this be you? Do you need to see a clearer picture of yourself? Not sure? Well, let me share with you 10 signs you may be the one throwing punches:
You always point out the negative before acknowledging the positive.You find it hard to feel true happiness at the success of others.You believe that your negative situation is a result of what people are "doing" to you and you let them know it.You are quick to point out someone else's mistakes.You constantly offer unsolicited advice, pointing out to others what's wrong with their life and what they should be doing to fix it.You never have anything good to say about anyone.You nitpick every situation with those who are closest to you.You make sure to let people know their goals and dreams probably won't happen.You aren't happy with yourself so you continually lash out at others.
So, if you had a peer evaluation from those closest to you...your family, friends, coworkers, spouse, significant others, children and parents...what would they say about you? Would they say that you have a negative attitude, that you are rude, hard to get along with, are a whiner, a complainer and find it hard to give credit and support to others?
Not sure what they would say? Why not ask them? Give them those 10 bullet points and see if they recognize you in them.
Why?
Because it's easy to see when you've been hit by a punch - but it can be really hard to admit that you are getting in good hits as well.
RADICAL Success Coach Doreen Rainey helps her clients define success for themselves and then get the guts to go after it. Ready for your RADICAL change? Grab your Radical Success Kit. Get unstuck, get moving and get results with your FREE RADICAL Success Starter Kit with: 7 RADICAL Tips, an audio of 5 Characteristics of Successful People Audio and subscription to Get RADICAL ezine.
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