A little boy was waiting patiently by the door for his Daddy to come home. Finally, in walked Dad. He was tired, stressed and still thinking about the dramas that had unfolded at work earlier that day. The little boy, seeing his Daddy head for his office with briefcase in hand, realized he was in for another lonely night. A few hours later, the boy sneaked into his Dad's office and asked sheepishly, "Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?" His Dad thought, "What a strange question." "Son, if you must know, I make $50 an hour!" The little boy stopped, pondered for a moment and then asked, "Daddy, can I borrow $20?" "$20!" his father scolded, "Forget it, Son, and get to bed. It's way past your bed time!" Later that night, the father noticed the light on in his son's bedroom and was angered to see his boy still up. "It's well after your bed time!" he barked. Seeing a few crumpled-up notes stashed under his son's pillow, he exploded with, "What's this? A few hours ago, you asked me for $20 and you already have $30! What on earth do you need all this money for?" The little boy swallowed hard and said softly, "Daddy, I had hoped that I would have saved up enough money by now to have been able to buy one hour of your time."
Often we are so preoccupied with our other interests we fail to see the gradual deterioration of our valued relationships. A few minor adjustments today may prevent heartache and regret tomorrow. A soul-searching question that may help you pinpoint where your valued relationships are at present is, "If I happened to be my wife, husband, child or children, would I like to have a spouse or parent like me?" If you don't like the answer(s) you receive, make a note why and then use your power of choice to head off those concerns.
A good way to gain awareness on the status of your marriage is to ask your partner, "Is there anything I do right now that annoys you?" Once you ask this question, bite your tongue and hear your spouse out. Another way to avoid a trip to the divorce courts is to reinvent your marriage vows. This time, however, don't aim for "better or for worse" but instead "for better and for better". As boredom leads to frustration, spontaneity and surprises lead back to renewed passion. Do you know that passion can be re-created at any time simply by re-creating the experiences that originally sparked it? Therefore, develop the habit of scheduling your baby sitter every couple of weeks so you and your spouse can enjoy a good-quality movie or meal in solitude - and remember the red roses!
Relationship Goal Suggestions
- If you don't have a family, consider setting a goal to spend more time with loved ones and friends.
- How can you develop a stronger relationship with each of your children?
- Do you need to restore the lines of communication with your children? How?
- What is something special you can do weekly with your family?
- Could you take them out to dinner or to a theme park?
- How about committing to spend one hour a day as quality time with your family?
- How can you show more appreciation for the little things your spouse do which you have been taking for granted?
- What is one thing you can do, starting today, to spice up your relationships?
- Where would you like to take your family for your next Christmas holidays?
- How about taking your parents out to dinner once every couple of months?
There is one other thing I feel strongly about in this area. May I suggest you set aside Sundays wherever possible and spend them as quality time with your family. Even God Himself took one day off! Know more about how to achieve your smart goals now.
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